[x]

So we left off at Jayy riding Dahvie like a horse
after Shelly left Dahvie's house.

"I hate my life" says Dahvie underneath Jayy.
"Shuddup horsie" Jayy says on Dahvie's back.
"Neigh"
"That's more like it,giddy up!!"
Dahvie sighs, crossly.
On the other hand; Jayy was having lots of fun riding
him.

*An hour later*:
"Time for the second shower of the day I guess"
"Can I come too."
"Um, Jayy didn't you have enough fun with me?"
"No" Jayy says in a suggestively sexy voice.
"UGH!"
Dahvie goes into the washroom and takes a shower.
"I hope Jayy doesn't walk in" thought Dahvie out loud.

After Dahvie showered Jayy left and made plans t

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P6

So we left off at Jayy flirting with the Starbucks
guy and Dahvie being all awkward.

"I said I wanted youtocuminmy latte" Jayy smiles.
"Is this right, you want me to cum in your
latte?" guy working all weirded out by his
smiling.
"Yup"
"Uh, I just wanted my iced frappaino" Dahvie
starts almost crying.
"Dude chill I got this." Jayy whispers to him.
"Sigh, I'll go hit on chicks or something."
"So, how about that coffee?" Jayy flirtously asks.
"Wanna get diner some time?"
"By the way, I'm Jayy Von Monroe"
"Johm"
"Here's my number, call me sometime Johm."
"Oh here's your friends coffee and a latte for
you"
"Thanks" Winks and goe

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P2

So we left off at Jayy and Dahvie about to leave
to get Dahvie's hair stuff and make-up. Because his
"mysteriously disappeared".

"Need my keys or we'll take your car" Dahvie
asks Jayy.
"We drove last night? I thought we took a cab?"
"My car it is"
They put their shoes on and left to Dahvie's car.
Jayy happily took Dahvie's keys, unlocked the
car and got in and of course started driving.
"Turn over here. I need to get some of that money."
So they went to the bank and Dahvie took out 255
dollars.
Then they went to Target where Dahvie got
some guy-liner and guy-shadow. When they were
walking to the counter they got harassed by a

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P1

One day Dahvie Vanity woke up in his house and
looked next to him. "OH MY GOD what is Jayy Von Monroe
doing in my bed?!" Dahvie thought to himself. Awkward
moment.
So Dahvie got out of bed and got dressed. "Why am I
naked" thought Dahvie. Then he went to the kitchen
and got himself some cereal. Which he ate in his
living room while watching tv.
Half an hour later, Jayy woke up.
"So what happened last night?" Dahvie says to Jayy
as he's getting his cereal.
"Umm, well I don't know but it was fun. Because we
got drunk." Jayy explains to Dahvie.
"Well that explains a lot" Dahvie grumbles.
Jayy grabs his cereal and sit across the cou

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P3

So we left off at Jayy and Dahvie deciding what bar to
go to that night, and party it up!!

"What time are we going?" Dahvie asks.
"Whatever doesn't matter"
"Good I'll go do my hair. It's starting to annoy me."
"Have fun. See you later, pick me up at 9."
" 'Kay"
Dahvie walks over to his washroom to do his hair and
Jayy leaves. While picking up his straightener he
burns himself.
"OH MY F---ING GOD!!" Dahvie yells in
pain.
Offended he puts a Hello Kitty band-aid on his
finger and straightens his hair and whatever else he
does to pimp his hair.
Afterwards he put on his guy-liner but he
kind of missed his eyelid and poked himself i

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P8

So we left off at Dahvie and Jayy in Chapters
and Jayy trying to get Dahvie to buy him
something.

Dahvie storms out of Chapters.
"Ugh why does Jayy WANT me to buy him that
book?" he thought to himself.
Jayy comes out of Chapters and gets Dahvie.
Half drags him back into the store.
"Jayy, what the f--- are you doing?" outraged Dahvie.
"You will get me that book. We'll go halfsies on it
okay?" Jay''s voice goes from scary to
happy.
"Alright gosh. Your harsh"
"You think I'm harsh. I'll show you."
"....I'm scared. SAVE ME!!"

They got Jayy his book and go back to shopping
and then Jayy's house again.
"So Dahvie"
"Shut up. I'm loo

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P7

So we left off at Dahvie picking up chicks
at the park where he was talking to a girl
walking her dog.

"Haha your funny" the woman says to Dahvie.
"Thanks baby, say. What's your name?"
"Barbara and what's your name?"
"Dahvie. Dahvie F---ing Vanity."
"Here's my number. Call me sometime"
"Okay thanks"
"See you, Dahvie"
"Bye"
With that Barbara left, winking and
smiling over her shoulder at Dahvie.
After that Dahvie went to find Jayy.

He found Jayy back at Starbucks talking
to Johm.
"Sigh, there he is talking to his new boyfriend"
Dahvie moodily thought to himself, before walking
up to them.
"Yeah, I know right. Oh hey there" J

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P9

So we left off at Dahvie storming out of Jayy's house
after they.... you know ;)

Dahvie walks out and slams the door behind him.
"Aw, he left. SHOWER TIME!!"
Jayy gets in and sings, while taking a shower.

Meanwhile in the parking lot.......
*Dahvie singing some random song*
"What are you singing?" Barbara asks Dahvie (out of
nowhere)
"Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects"
"Oh I like that song it's catchy"
"Yeah...."
"What's your dirty secret?"
".." Thinks about it "too dirty"
"Oh....okay.....then"
Dahvie unlocks his car and gets in.
"I'll call you sometime"
Drives away awkwardly before she could answer
him.
"Gotta ge

Adventures of DahvieVanity P12

So we left off at Dahvie deciding to be a
asshole and walk in on Jayy and Johm.

Dahvie walks into the lving room.
"Dahvie! Get out!" Jayy says while Johm is bent over the
table.
"You interrupted me and Shelly. Why can't I interrupt
you?"
"This is different."
"How so, Jayy?"
"F--- me already." Johm says eagerly to Jayy.
"Speaking of Shelly. We hooked up again. Without
interruptions." Pointed glare at jayy while casually
leaning against kitchen counter.
"I don't care. Can we get back to what we, as in Johm
and I,were doing? Unless you want to join?"
"Dude ew. I don't like dick. Unless it's my own, of
course."
"Of course that's

Adventures of DahvieVanity P10

So we left off at Jayy leaving Dahvie's house through
the gate connecting their backyards.

Jayy walks out backdoor to his house.
"Stupid no good pirate f---ing..." Dahvie mutters
to himself while watching Americas Next Top
Model. Just because you know your cool when
you watch that show and your a guy.

5 minutes later....
"She's ugly....Decent.....DAMN YOUR UGLY...I'd tap
that...WHAT THE F--- IS SHE WEARING?!...Her too....
I think I've seen her before......I hate those
designer people" And so on Dahvie ranted/yelled
while watching Americas Next Top Model.
"Screw this I'm going for a walk"

So Dahvie gets three houses down from
hi

Adventures of DahvieVanity P11

So we left off at Dahvie getting playful with
Shelly.

"I'm like a speedy cheetah." Catches her and pins
her against the wall.
"And what, I'm just your helpless prey?"
"Yup"
Starts hungrily kissing and tugging at each others
clothes.

*30 minutes later*:
Dahvie gets off Shelly.
"Why are we on the floor?"
"I don't know. But I have't had enough"
So they keep going at it.

*15 minutes ago*:
Shelly gets off Dahvie.
"Now I've had enough"
"I thought we were going to have milk and cookies.....
But this was good too" Winks at her.
"Damn it I left the milk out" They go to get dressed.
"I gotta go"
"Don't go. What about some cookies?"

Adventures of DahvieVanity P13

So we left off at Dahvie looking for milk at
the grocery store for his cookies.

Puts cookies in shopping basket and goes to look for
milk. So he walks over to the dairy section.
"This is yogurt, not milk" he thinks to
himself after picking up a thing of yogurt.
"Oh my gosh! Chocolate or regular milk?" Picks up
a carton.
"Oh what the f--- it's soy milk." Walks a few steps
and picks up another carton. "Almond.....milk HOW THE
F--- DO ALMONDS MAKE MILK?!" Dahvie
practically screams.
People stare at him. Mothers with their children
look offended. A vegan smacks him.
"Owwie."
Gets average chocolate milk made by cows. Puts beside
co

Adventures of DahvieVanity P14

So we left off at Jayy, Johm and Dahvie's about to do
some sexy things at Jayy's.

"Okay sure" Dahvie sighs.
"Let's goooooooooooooooo" Jayy practically sings while pulling
Dahvie off the couch.
They get to Jayy's house.
"Sit here with Johm. Drink a bit, I don't know.I'll
be back" Jayy skips down the hallway.
Dahvie grabs a bottle and drinks from it.
"So Dahvie, do you know what Jayy's newly-born
fanasty is? Did he tell you?" asks Johm.
"Nope, no idea. He tell you?"
"No" sigh
"I wonder. Oh here, you drink?" extends arm to offer
whiskey.
"I'm fine but...." takes a swig and puts on table.
Jayy comes back down to the hallway. And h

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Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P4

by ~SonicAndTails772, Sep 10, 2011, 4:43:48 PM
Literature / Characters & Settings / Sci-Fi & Fantasy / Profiles

So we left of at Dahvie and Jayy at The Cool Cats Bar
where Dahvie met a girl named Shelly.

"Do you want to come home with me?" Dahvie asks
Shelly.
"Not drunk enough,but yeah sure lets go"
"Okay. Who's driving?"
"If you ask like that, we're taking a cab."
So Shelly and Dahvie waved down a cab and went back to
Dahvie's house.
So after a couple more drinks, well, "things" started
to happen....

*20 minutes later*:
"Want some more?"
"YES!" Shelly yells
"Woah, I meant alcohol."
"That too" Winks at Dahvie
"Oh, um, I'll go get the alcohol." Dahvie walks away
to find it.....Comes back with glasses.
"For you" hands Shelly a glass "And lets continue
what we were doing"

*5-ish minutes later*:
Jayy walks into Dahvie's house.
"Hey Dahvie I'm- oh dear god not again"
Dahvie and Shelly take no notice in Jayy and are
still 'doing it'.
"Oh, hi Jayy. This is Shelly." *motions to girl underneath
him* "And Shelly this is Jayy."
"Uh, I have to go. I just remembered to, uh,
feed my cat" says Shelly as she's grabbing her
things and gets dressed.
"Sorry I didn't-"
"Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?" says Dahvie interrupting
Jayy.
"Oh so you mean to say this always happend?"
yells Shelly
"Well, uh,yeah but-"
Shelly walks out and angrily slams the door behind
her. Dahvie turns to Jayy, who is casually drinking
some whiskey.
"Why?"
"Why not?" Jayy grabs his cowboy hat. "Get on all
fours Dahvie."
"But Jayy..." complains Dahvie
"That's Sheriff Jayy to you, horsie." Gets on Dahvie
and tides him like a horse.
"I hate my life"
"Shuddup horsie."

Adventures of Dahvie Vanity P4by ~SonicAndTails772

Literature / Characters & Settings / Sci-Fi & Fantasy / Profiles

Fourth part of my fan-fiction series.
Oh my poor Dahvie.
What happens? Where's Shelly?(wait we'll never know that) Why is Jayy riding Dahvie?

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